In the third quarter, I received the antidote! In some ways, I call it my road trip on Damascus Road when the filtered glass lenses were removed along with the distorted earbuds. 

The “breath of life,” one’s ability to breathe freely without mechanical instruments, is the most superficial view of life. But the direct connection with the Creator of heaven and earth, the image of the One we are made in, allows you to live a sustainable life.  

Now that I am presentable, washed in the cleansing blood of YahShua Ha Messiach (who many call Jesus Christ), and able to stand before my Daddy…

No matter how much I cried out because I felt disconnected from my Abba Yahweh, I needed to remember that a sinner could not be in His presence. 

“He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house: He that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight.”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭101‬:‭7‬ ‭KJV

When the first infliction from my behavior started affecting me, I didn’t look at my actions; instead, I looked at the environment, my associations, and possible other culprits. Everything and anything except me and my actions. Those first warning signs I call “pebbles tossed my pond” signs I missed, dismissed, or ignored. Warnings that if I paid attention and understood their intentions, I would have seen they aligned with directives given in the first quarter. However, as time continued, my life started spiraling. The falling ROCKS!

As any parent who loves their child, they are going to correct inappropriate behavior. Yahweh is no different. As He set governance over the children of Israel before He brought them into the promised land, they were given clear instructions about what was and wasn’t permitted. They were informed what blessings they would receive for being obedient and what curses would befall them for their disobedience. Deuteronomy 28 leaves no ambiguity on the blessings or curses we choose to receive in our lives by how we live.  

“The one who will not use the rod hates his son, but the one who loves him disciplines him diligently.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭13‬:‭24‬ ‭HCSB

So the rocks fell in old times when it was understood that spoiling the rod kept your child from being disciplined by the authorities. Yahweh wished for none to perish. For His children, whom He called, Adonia corrects to restore. 

“The Lord does not delay His promise, as some understand delay, but is patient with you, not wanting any to perish but all to come to repentance.”

2 Peter‬ ‭3‬:‭9‬ ‭HCSB

The night YahShua was taken prisoner by the Levitical guards, he told Peter that by the time the cock crows three times, he would have denied him three times; as we know, this transpired. But after YahShua Ha Messiach’s resurrection, he restored Peter.

“When they had eaten breakfast, Jesus asked Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said to Him, “You know that I love You.” “Feed My lambs,” He told him. A second time He asked him, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” “Yes, Lord,” he said to Him, “You know that I love You.” “Shepherd My sheep,” He told him. He asked him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved that He asked him the third time, “Do you love Me?” He said, “Lord, You know everything! You know that I love You.” “Feed My sheep,” Jesus said.”

‭‭John‬ ‭21‬:‭15‬-‭17‬ ‭HCSB

Not only did I need to have true repentance for my behavior, which required the “rod of correction” from a loving Father, but I needed to be restored as the daughter of the Most High.  

Like Peter, I, too, have sinned. I allowed myself to make choices that went against the will of my Father. I let a familiar spirit I was no longer acquainted with slowly waltz back into my life and become my dance partner. This partner brought instructors to teach me new steps, dressed in sheep’s clothing, yet contained poisonous nails that inflicted me with venom with each new lesson. 

No, the enemy of our faith may not know all Yahweh has in store for us, but it has enough knowledge to know when a voice needs to be rendered mute. One of the instructors was akin to a former acquaintance who was previously removed. This grandmaster used subtitles to entrap my mind into believing I had no voice, purpose, or effect in the kingdom. As they say in the streets, “The devil is a liar wearing red-bottomed shoes!” Though I can retain my motto, “Your Voice is Your Power,” I will admit it caused some stumbles. 

“When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none. Then he saith, I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept, and garnished. Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation.”

Matthew‬ ‭12‬:‭43‬-‭45

I was grateful when my eyes were open to the truth before me, and I could now see the trees from the forest. To understand precisely what was at play against me. I am even more appreciative of the guidance of Ruach Ha Kodesh (Holy Spirit), who came to my side when I stated I alone am too weak to withstand this temptation. Gratitude, love, and reverence do not begin to express the feeling from within in understanding how longsuffering our Heavenly Father is for his children. 

“My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.”

James‬ ‭1‬:‭2‬-‭4‬ ‭KJV‬‬

But the enemy wasn’t through and didn’t believe the antidote took root and effect. When Satan wasn’t sure YahShua was the Messiach, he tempted him with what he saw. In my case, everything my Abba Yahweh told me I couldn’t have, the enemy placed in my hands, served on a stolen precious platter. It was a dirty, rotten move, but my Abba Yahweh got the last laugh, albeit at my expense. 

I wish I could say quarter three ended here, but no! There were a couple more lessons for me to grasp, but none as potent and shocking as my next lesson—this one I didn’t see coming. I didn’t even recognize I allowed it to happen, but it was a lesson I promised never to forget. 

Join me tomorrow for the conclusion of this reflection on the third quarter.