For years, October has been the beginning of my planning year, and January is the fiscal for tax purposes. But as September/October also covers the month of Tishri, Elohim’s New Year, I reflect on the previous year personally and professionally.  

Reflecting on this year, my journey and lessons completely overshadowed professional aspirations in every aspect of my life. 

As I looked back, breaking Hebrewic year 5783 into quarters, I realized how the enemy used my naïveté and proclivities against me to destroy my purpose and silence my voice, but Yahweh is merciful and forgiving. 

Though my actions were not solo, I alone am responsible for the part I played. It doesn’t matter if I felt I was “beguiled” because, as we saw with Eve, that will not grant a bypass to the consequences. We can’t even say we fell victim because the temptation was beyond our ability to resist, for we know that word is contrary to the teaching of the Apostle James. 

Instead, I recant these experiences as teachable moments. Security in knowing we serve a loving Heavenly Father who wishes for none to perish. Knowing that even when we stray away like the Father of the protocol son, Yahweh, and YahShua Ha Messiach are waiting to restore us upon our confession of sins and true repentance. 

“There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”

1 Corinthians‬ ‭10‬:‭13‬ ‭KJV‬‬

The first quarter resulted in many plans created to protect me from traps awaiting just a few months ahead, while others were plans that required an attentive, attuned ear to hear my Abba Yahweh direction. 

In the second quarter, believing I could follow my desires, I allowed the enemy of my faith to inject me with a poison designed to kill me slowly, spiritually, and naturally. But Yahweh. See, disobedience at any level creates a breach in the armor that protects the fiery darts from penetration. Repeated disobedience is deliberate defiance against the Word of Yahweh. 

As Paul asked, “What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid.”

Roman 6:1-2, KJV

 Defiance isn’t covered just because one mouths the prayer of repentance after each deliberate, repeated, sinful act. For one’s prayer must be sincere for Yahweh judge the intent of your heart. Yes, when we find ourselves removed from the covering of the Blood price Messiach paid on Calvary, we should repent to return before Yahweh. 

 In Hebrews, Paul relays a conversation between Adonia (son of God) and Yahweh (God the Father). During this conversation, we understand the law given to the children of Israel no longer pleased Yahweh. See, when they were nomads, their money exchange was limited, and the price for sin was costly. Since the exchange rate during this time was in cattle, they couldn’t maintain large herds; however, that changed after they settled in the promised land. As their profitability expanded, sacrificing cattle was no longer a sacrifice to them but an easy write-off.   

“In burnt offerings and sacrifices for sin thou hast had no pleasure. Then said I, Lo, I come (In the volume of the book it is written of me,) To do thy will, O God. Above when he said, Sacrifice and offering and burnt offerings and offering for sin thou wouldest not, neither hadst pleasure therein; which are offered by the law;”

‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭10‬:‭6‬-‭8‬ ‭KJV

Repentance should come with sincerity to do better and avoid the sinful action that led us astray. We are not to use the prayer of repentance as a perpetual free-get-of-jail card. By doing likewise, it is best answered by the Prophet Ezekiel:

“But when the righteous turneth away from his righteousness, and committeth iniquity, and doeth according to all the abominations that the wicked man doeth, shall he live? All his righteousness that he hath done shall not be mentioned: in his trespass that he hath trespassed, and in his sin that he hath sinned, in them shall he die.”

Ezekiel‬ ‭18‬:‭24‬ KJV

I needed to understand this lesson to “breathe again”! I not only lost my communication with my Abba Yahweh, but I was struggling to maintain normal oxygen flow. A line from Helen Baylor’s song “Testimony: My Grandmother Prayed for Me” comes to mind: “The enemy had his trap set for me.” Yes, my desires led me down this path, but this path had an objective, and it needed me from under Abba Yahweh’s protection to accomplish it.  

Join me tomorrow to continue in this reflection into the third quarter.